Monday, June 3, 2013

Kenley's Playlist #1

Since I am on vacation, I thought I'd do a series of "Kenley's Playlist" posts.   Over the last few months, I have formed an itunes playlist of songs that have come to mean something to me for one reason or another.  Maybe it cheered me up.  Maybe its lyrics touched my heart.  Maybe it made me feel stronger or less alone.   Maybe it made me cry.   For whatever reason it touched me, I added it to my playlist.   I listen to this playlist in the car, in the shower, while cleaning the house - wherever I want music.   When I listen to these songs, I feel connected to Kenley.   Here's the first one:

Across the Universe 

Although the Beatles' original can't be beat, the one that is on my playlist is from the Across the Universe soundtrack.   I like the instrumental opening on this one.   I have had this song on itunes since the movie came out in 2007, and I have always loved it for its flowing melody and beautiful lyrics.   I played it at Kenley's memorial service when I released her balloons.  

"Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup.  They slither while they pass.  They slip across the universe."  To me, these words symbolized Kenley's independent spirit and the words I chose to remember her by.  Those words I spoke at her memorial flowed out of me and into the universe.  Like her balloon, those words rose into the sky and carried her home.    
"Pools of Sorrow, Waves of Joy are drifting through my open mind.  Possessing and caressing me."  As much as I was devastated to not have my baby in my arms, I was filled with the joy of my love for her.   It was a paradox that wouldn't  - and still hasn't - let go of me.   
"Nothing's gonna change my world"   These words remind me to hold on to who I am, in spite of what has happened.   I will not let this make me bitter...I will let it make me better.  
I could analyze every bit of this song to tell you how meaningful it is to me, but I won't.   Some of that is mine - and you can't have it.   For the rest of my life, this song will remind me of that cold, winter's day in early March.  The day I said goodbye to my baby girl.  The day her pink balloon broke away from the pack and the day her life broke away from this earth.   As long as I'm living, my baby she'll be.  

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