Thursday, February 5, 2015

The Heartbroken Mother


When I wrote "A Letter to My Doctor" a few weeks ago, I had no idea it would have the span that it did. I am so excited the post has reached so many and continues to make a difference. Because of the chord the post struck with people, I wanted to create something that would be even more meaningful and have even greater of an impact.

I thought that if the letter was powerful by itself, then a video would be even more powerful. It would show real people affected by loss. It would help connect the viewer with the true emotions felt by parents when their baby dies. It would make the letter human. I decided to ask the babyloss community to submit pictures of their children for this project, and was blown away by the response. Within the first hour of posting in two Facebook groups, I had dozens of emails, all from mothers who jumped at the chance to be a part of this, and who, more than anything, want their story told and their baby remembered.

I did not limit the video to pictures of babies born still. Some of the babies in the video lived for minutes, hours, and even days. Some passed away from birth defects, infections, illness, or SIDS. Honestly, for me, it doesn't matter why these children are gone. What matters is that they are - and they are so very missed, so very loved.


90 children appear in this video. 90. Let that sink in for just a moment. 90 children of Heartbroken Mothers. Some of the pictures were professionally taken, some were snapped with a personal camera, some have been retouched, but all of them are the most sacred possession each mother has of their child. Every picture in this video has been sent to me in good faith that I will tell their story honestly and with fidelity. Every picture is the result of a mother going out on a limb to support a cause by sharing the most vulnerable part of her motherhood, her baby's birth and death. This video is not just a video of me reading my blog post. This video is the heart and soul of every mother who has lost a child. When you watch it, remember that. Remember just how loved every single one of these children are. Remember that these pictures are all we have of our children. Remember how brave each of these mothers are to share their story and their baby with you.

Please Note: This video is "unlisted" on Youtube, and can only be accessed through this embedded link. If you share, please share the blog post and not just the YouTube link.

 In order to share this video in a group setting such as a face to face support group, or with hospital staff,  please let me know you are doing so.  You may email me at Kenleyninja at Gmail.



If this video moved you, please consider helping out a worthy cause.  The US Cuddle Cot Campaign is dedicated to make sure every maternity ward in the nation has a Cuddle Cot.   One of the beautiful Heartbroken Mothers from the video is working with the Campaign to bring a cuddle cot to her local hospital.  You can check out that link here.    Every hospital is required to be up to code in all sorts of areas, but they aren't required to have a Cuddle Cot.  Help get one into every hospital so that the next Heartbroken Mother (and there will be many) can have as many precious moments with her baby as possible.

Some of the resources mentioned in the video:

The TEARS Foundation
SOBBS
Still Born, Still Loved
Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep
The Sweet Pea Project
Cherishing the Journey
The Brianna Marie Foundation
Kaleb Kares
Still Birthday
Return to Zero (movie)

Also, check out Carly Marie's Project Heal.  I hadn't realized I didn't add it to the video until I had already published it.  Carly Marie does beautiful photography to remember our babies!

Once again, thank you for watching the video, reading the letter, and remembering the babies.





14 comments:

  1. Thank you Rebecca. Thank you for being our VOICE and helping to break the silence of Pregnancy & Infant loss. You have done an amazing job and an honor to all those beautiful babies recognized in this beautiful video.
    Natalie

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you so much Rebecca. I sent an email, on Friday, requesting permission to share the video with staff and students in presentations. I am hoping that I have done it correctly. If possible I would like to share in a meeting tomorrow - If I do not hear from you I will not share until I receive your permission and the correct video.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Patti, I just looked through my emails, and I can't find one from you. It is possible it got lost in the shuffle of the several emails I have been receiving. I believe I just finished up the photo releases today. If you email me one more time, I will send you the link tonight! Kenleyninja @ gmail.com

      Delete
    2. Thanks Rebecca - I have resent it (from my work email instead of my home email) - I look forward to hearing from you

      Delete
  3. Hi Rebecca,
    I am a current VCOM studnet and we were just shown your video today. I want to thank you from myself and all my classmates for this personal letter. Your words were vital in helping us as future physicians to understand and be able to help all of our future mothers.Thank you again and I hope we can make you proud in holding these words close to our hearts.

    ReplyDelete
  4. My daughter died last May when she was only 7 days old. Most of the health providers where supportive but I regret not doing things like keeping a lock of her hair. Nobody suggested it and I was in shock to think about it...The death of a baby is taboo in Argentina. I've read other bereaved parents' thoughts and some of them had a really hard time with the medical professionals...I'd love to translate your letter into Spanish to share with the Latinamerican community of bereaved parents. Can I do so? I'd send you a copy if you'd like to have your video in Spanish as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nadin, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. There are so many things moms can't think of on our own. It's so important for the medical professionals to help us through that. I would love for you to translate the letter and use it wherever you feel it can be useful! You are welcome to email me at KenleyNinja at GMAIL.com if you ever need anything.

      Delete
    2. Thank you so much. It really means a lot to me.

      Delete
    3. Would you be able to share the letter that was translated into Spanish so that we can share it with our Hispanic patients that prefer written materials in Spanish? Our population at our hospital obstetrical unit is 80% Hispanic.

      Delete
    4. Here is the link for the Spanish version https://drive.google.com/open?id=171lvM0UHc2c0lz8o0VF51VwdOfRO0kfE

      I have also updated the blog page to include it. :)

      Delete
  5. Ever since my husband got me divorced for the past 2 years, i v'e not been my self. I was reviewing some post of how i could get back my husband then, i saw a testimony shared by Marina Choas from SWEDEN about a spell caster named Dr. Okosun. I contacted Marina Chaos to confirm about how Dr. Okosun helped her and she clarified everything to me of how he helped her and that gave me the courage to get in touch with Dr. OKosun for help. Dr. Okosun assured me that my days of sorrows will be over within 48hours after he has finished with his work. I followed his instructions he gave to me because i had the believe, faith, hope and trust in him. Verily i say to you today that i and my husband are back together and i can proudly say and testify to the world of what Dr. Okosun did for me. Contact him today via E-mail:(Okosunspelltemple33@gmail.com call him or whatsapp him +2348133974847 if you seek his help

    ReplyDelete
  6. Greatest thanks to Dr Eromosele for his herbal drugs that he prepared for me and when i start using it in just 2weeks i was completely cured and that ended my HERPES SIMPLEX 1&2 DISEASE i am so happy and grateful to Dr Eromosele . after reading about him on a testimony of Jason Cash on a blogger. I knew suddenly Dr Eromosele was the right Doctor to cure my HERPES SIMPLEX 1&2 DISEASE. I discuss with Dr Eromosele and he prepared a herbal medicine for me and when it got sent to me in South Korean. I used the herbal medicine and 2weeks and i went to check up again. after 15years of suffering from HERPES SIMPLEX 1&2 at last i am smiling once again. Dr Eromosele also has remedy to others disease like COLD SORES, HIV/AIDS, DIABETES, CANCER, HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND MANY MORE. I oblige everyone to contact this powerful herbalist Dr Eromosele and be free from your suffering. contact his WhatsApp line: +2348075799423 or his Email:dreromosele156@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hello everyone in this forum, I will keep sharing my own experience with the world. What Dr Ebhota has done for me, he cures my HERPES VIRUS . I was suffering from HERPES VIRUS for more than 3years until i got the email of this great herbal doctor from the internet and chose to give him a trial to see if he can really help me. To my greatest surprise this man helped me with his herbal medicine and now my pains are all gone, I went to the hospital to do some tests and the result came out negative. I am free from my HERPES VIRUS sickness and am very happy now, i would like you to email him if you are suffering from any STD on his email: drebhotasolution@gmail.com https://drebhotasolution.wixsite.com/drebhotaherbalhome/

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hello Everyone out there,I am here to give my testimony about a Herbalist doctor who helped me . I was infected with HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS in 2016, i went to many hospitals for cure but there was no solution, so I was thinking how can I get a solution out so that my body can be okay. One day I was in the river side thinking where I can go to get solution. so a lady walked to me telling me why am I so sad and i open up all to her telling her my problem, she told me that she can help me out, she introduce me to a doctor who uses herbal medication to cure HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS and gave me his email, so i mail him. He told me all the things I need to do and also give me instructions to take, which I followed properly. Before I knew what is happening after two weeks the HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS that was in my body got vanished . so if you are also heart broken and also need a help, you can also email him at drgodwinsolutionhome@gmail.com or whatsapp him number: +2348054615060 Contact him today
    https://drgodwinsolutionho.wixsite.com/drgodwinsolutionhome

    ReplyDelete