Monday, March 25, 2013

D-Day

Today is Kenley's due date.   Now, I could go on and on about how sad and angry I feel.  (Which I do).  And I could curse the universe and tell you it owes me a baby.  (Which it does).    But I am not going to do that today.   Today was supposed to be a day of happiness and joy.  A day of laughter and smiles and new beginnings.  So, instead of lamenting my loss, I am going to celebrate a life.   Kenley's life.   Today, Mike and I are going to the tree, and we will see that tree growing tall and healthy, and we will wish Kenley well.   We will thank her for making us parents.   We will tell her we love her and we will remember the joy she brought us for the tiny amount of time she was in our lives.   Today is a day of promise and hope.

 So, to rekindle that spark of light, today I share with you the hope we had not so long ago.   To announce our new addition, Mike and I made a video and posted it to Facebook.   I had just gotten my iPad and was excited to play with its features.   We made this movie in an afternoon on the weekend of our first wedding anniversary and had a blast.   We were so excited to share our news with the world.   We were going to have a baby!   Our future was bright and sunny.   You can see our kooky personalities shine in this video - and you can imagine what a firecracker our little Kenley would have been!        

  Today is a day to be hopeful.   Tomorrow may dawn gray and murky.   The sun may be blocked by dark clouds, and my heart may be broken once again.   But the darkness won't claim today.  No, not today.  Today is hers - and she belongs to the light.


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3 comments:

  1. AnonymousMarch 25, 2013 at 7:56 AM

    I remember seeing that many months ago and enjoyed seeing it again this a.m. So very clever.

    Robin

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  2. UnknownMarch 26, 2013 at 12:11 AM

    When I first seen that video I had to show the hubby, I was excited and amazed by the creativity..

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  3. TraceyMarch 26, 2013 at 1:17 AM

    So bittersweet...I remember how awesome the video was when we first saw it. I am sure when you watch it you recall the hope that you felt and never considered the impossible, senseless events, that have unfolded. I am so proud of you and Mike for embracing the day in Kenley's honor. There will be hope again. She would have wanted that for you. You are awesome parents and will be able to share that awesomeness one day in the future. I don't mean to sound insensitive - you know that I am not. Rebecca, you and Mike are such amazingly gifted people with so much to offer. I hope that each day a little more warmth and light is finding its way through the clouds. I am sure there are days when it gets a little darker, and you are waiting for the light. May you always find the light, as you love your brown haired little girl, Kenley Evelyn, forever. Her spirit surely would have been amazing on this earth. May it always fill your heart and help you regain your footing one step at a time.

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