This brings me to part two of Pink's songs that seem to speak to me now. Her song "Beam Me Up" talks about wanting to be where someone is, wanting to see them again, and feeling so separate from them. It's a haunting song and doesn't have the harshness of some of her others. In it, she is almost pleading with the universe to transport her to where her love is. I would give anything to see Kenley again. To hold her again. To touch her. I wish someone would "Beam Me Up" to the universe where she survived, even for just one minute. Just one minute more to look at her face in front of me, to kiss her, to brush her hair away from her eyes. To look into her eyes and know with all certainty what color they really are.
I'm not saying I believe in parallel universes, but I am saying I'd like to. I'd like to think that somewhere in another dimension, there is another me holding her baby. A me who didn't lose her daughter. A me who doesn't know the pain of being separated from her child. I like to think somewhere, Kenley is laughing and smiling and kicking her legs at her mama while she gets a diaper change. A Kenley who gets to grow up - who gets to go to kindergarten and college. A Kenley who gets to fingerpaint and swing on swing sets. A Kenley who gets to go on dates, and have pets, and take pre-calculus. I imagine this beautiful family, happy and oblivious to the dark side of possibility. Another me, another Mike, another Kenley. Together as they should be. And, although I wish that could happen in my universe, I hope it's happening somewhere.