Here we are. One week until she's here - in my arms. Alive! Who would have thought that one word would hold so much power. Alive. I just need to make it one more week. She needs to stay away from that cord for 6 more days. And then, she'll be here. Screaming. Crying. Squirming. Alive.
This week is going to be one of the hardest weeks of my life. As much as other people are trying to keep me encouraged, it's really something I have to do on my own. I am terrified of repeating the past. Kenley died just before my 36 week check up. I had that check-up for Piper today. Bless her beating heart, she was wiggling around in the car on the way there - as if she knew I needed her to reassure me she was still in there. Still with me.
I've decided that I need to actively do something to keep myself focused and on track. So, I have begun making a Piper Playlist. A song a day until she is born that inspires me or keeps me positive.
The first song is one from my teenage days, "You Gotta Be". The chorus is:
You gotta be
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day
I have been all of those things. I can continue to be all of those things. And love WILL save the day.
For some reason, blogger won't let me embed, but here's the Youtube link