Blogiversary

Today, One Pink Balloon is three years old.  Three years ago today, I woke up, belly sore and heart broken, and decided to do what I had always done when my emotions were too tangled to think.  I started to write.  Today is the day I decided to take charge of my journey and make it my own.   Today is the day I refused to be beaten by grief.  Clearly, it has not been smooth sailing.   The seas at the beginning were angry and rough, and even now there are still days where I feel like I'm drowning.  But, I'm still here.  I'm still in this ocean, steering through this life as best as I can.  Today is the day I broke the silence for the very first time.  

At the beginning, this blog was created to help me sort through my emotions and try to make sense of the shattered pieces of my life.  I wrote to get my pain out, and my blog became my most important outlet.   Whatever was floating around in my head was filtered through my keyboard and onto this page.   I pride myself on the fact that every entry of this blog is 100% accurate and true.  If I had the words to say it, I said it here.   Even if I didn't have the words, I still tried.   I credit this blog as the main contributor to my healing.   

I am not one to give myself accolades, but I am very proud of what I have done with my little corner of the internet.   Not just with A Letter to My Doctor (which, by the way, has over 175,000 views with the video at just under 10,000), but with every post.   Every post I have written is every bit of my true self.  I have always wanted to be a writer, and this blog has helped me become one.   Of course it isn't the story I wanted to tell, but I have done my best to tell it in the most honest way possible.   

My hope is that people reading this blog - whether they've been here since the beginning, or backtracked through once they found me - have been given some sort of insight into what it's like to lose a baby to stillbirth.    I hope I have brought comfort to any other loss-mom reading this in knowing she is not alone, that her emotions are valid, and her baby is valued.   I hope I have brought awareness to those who need it and educated those in the dark.  I hope the stone I threw in three years ago is still creating ripples.  

So, I celebrate today.   I celebrate the day I refused to go silently into that good night - the day I took the first step towards healing - the day I decided to share this very personal and difficult journey with the world.   

Happy Blogiversary to One Pink Balloon.   The words are mine.   The legacy is hers.